I have a thing for thoughts containing “should” or “have to”, and I see huge possibilities in them.
Let me explain.
Any time I have a thought, that I should do this-and-that, it always comes with a sense of unease, being pressured and overall comes with a state of mind that is not really nurturing good feelings.
Shoulds seem to me like an agility run that I despise, but I gotta go through it in order to get to where I would love to go.
Shoulds smell like sweat and struggle and inconveniences.
On the other hand, those shoulds usually pointing to a desired outcome.
For example:
I should pay the water bill, so next week I can still flush the toilet after myself. – Count me in, nobody deserves to hang out in that smell longer than necessary.
I should study more Italian, so I can have a short chat with the shop assistant without making a fool out of myself. – Sounds cool, I’m in.
Sounds reasonable, right?
But if we want the outcome so badly, why it drains us so much in the present moment?
First of all, actually doing the should doesn’t drain us.
Thinking of doing it does.
Or for the fellows in the multitasking/overthinking department: obsessively thinking about how much you despise doing it meanwhile you are doing it drains you.
The despise, the heaviness comes from the THINKING occuring related to the shoulds, not directly from the things that needs to be done.
So what I realized when I was looking at my ugly and gigantic shoulds, that I am sitting on the horse backwards.
It’s not like I should do them, otherwise I will drop dead. Much more like I am free to do so, so I can get to where I would like to be.
I am free to do them, regardless of them appearing to me as something dreadful at the moment, and so I am free to move towards that outcome I desire.
I am free to move forward and I am free to do that in flow instead of taking it as an agility training.
Usually this tiny rephrasing untangles the resistance in me, and in a matter of minutes I can completely lose myself in the activity. (Aka. I’m enjoying the shit out of it. Jep, even from a simple task of paying the water bills, who would have thought?)
So what if instead of making a laundry list of your shoulds for the day to keep yourself productive, you would gather the small steps you are free and able to take to move towards your desired outcome?
Does this tickles you in a good way?
That’s all for today my loves.
Have an awesome weekend!
Hugs,
Andi.
Andrea Jacso 